the art of smash brothers

“Glub. Glub. Glub,” says Kirby as he defies gravity to the platform. As I walk past a Smash Brothers competition between K, S and B, one hands me the controller.

“How do I do this?!?” I ask, feeling slightly alarmed. I’m not one to play video games. I crouch down on the floor.

Final countdown, three, two…

“Ready? Start!” S shouts. “You guys are dead…” He expertly moves his character to a position with better advantage.

“What do I do? What do I do?” I try to grab K’s attention by waving my controller in her face. I do NOT know how to do this.

“Hit up; Kirby goes up.”

So, I hit up. Glub, glub, glub. It was like magic. Laborious, slow magic. “What next?” I ask. I start to feel pitiful and desperate.

“Button A punches. B eats people,” she’s concentrating on the t.v. screen as S attacks her.

Why do I get the fat, pudgy ball that doesn’t float? I wonder. Characters jump from one platform to another shooting and kicking each other. I start feverishly hitting A and B.

“Ahh!!” K screams at me. “You ate me!”
“How did I do that?!” I shout back.

ABBABBABBBBAB

“You pushed B!”
“He now has blue hair…” I notice.
“You took my power!” K accuses.
“So what? What does blue hair do?”

She doesn’t answer.

I notice she is occupied again as S tries to kill her. Suddenly someone else is upon me. I freak out, laughing, and glub glub my way up to the next platform. I discover I’m left alone as I wait for someone to attack me. I fall off the platform and arduously float to a hiding place. I notice I’m ranked the highest at the same time everyone else does.

“GET HER!!” someone screeches.
“Oh, no! I can’t do this!” I frantically hit buttons. I’m filled with dread, even as I laugh hysterically. What if they get me?

“I can’t believe she’s winning! I’m already dead…” B says behind my back.
The door bell rings, and in walks visitors. Saved by the door bell! I hand my controller to B.
“She kicked our butts!” K calls as I walk out.

Good luck, Pink Thingy.
ABBABBABAB
and out.