Today's teachers only participate on the grounds that no one knows their names. Not even their initials.Protection of Witnesses, anyone?
Also, those who can't do, teach...
One night with The S-Man and his associate Ty "The Guy", L discovered something very vital in all mobster/civilian relations: you won’t teach a mobster new tricks. Mobsters, however, like to be cultured; the art is in showing HIM how to teach YOU.
(I'm reminded of the mob boss from Oscar, Angelo “Snaps” Provolone. While instructing his accountant he comments, “I learn a new word every day. You should expand your vocabulary, Antny, and you wouldn’t be just a book keeper.“)
And so our friendly neighborhood wise guy learned the flute. After a brief explanation of musical theory, The S-Man took the flute parts from L’s hands and re-demonstrated equipment assembly. “This is the Blowy Part,” he stated, putting the head on the body of the flute, “and this is the Tipity Tappers."
"And this part here, Boss,” Ty "The Guy" said excitedly, grabbing the foot, “is the Silencer.”
Nothing like a gangster to put music into perspective.
L internally roller her eyes, and lesson two began. S-Man drew a 5-lined staff, and carefully added the notes, composing his master piece (it turns out mobsters think everything they do is a Magnum Opus.) To increase the difficulty, he drew flags on the notes and made obscure time signatures. L found him to be a hard taskmaster, much like Mozart of old, but surprisingly enough, she now could play all sorts of mobster ballads and drinking songs.
By the end of the night L was a professional. The S-Man is now willing to teach others for a small fee. (He, however, is still working on making a sound.) But don’t tell him that. He’s thinking of changing his name to S “The Flute” Harris…and we, for one, will not be dashing his dreams.
This was a very good article. How are those drinking songs coming. I'm very excited for your recital. You just keep practicing the way I taught you, capishe?
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