art of the crazy american

Remember, these stories have been stored up because China hates Google, and I didn't have access:

Since we were anticipating seven hundred students, Heidi brought ten dollars worth of pennies to give away to special people that we met, students and nice people who told us ancient Chinese wisdom and the like. Unfortunately for her, and me, we only have twenty students, and one thousand pennies to unload.

Which brings us to the train. It pulls into the station, I manuever my way through the mass of people down the aisle, when I notice everyone in front of me is looking at me or past me to Heidi, craning their necks, and some stretching out their hands. "Oh, do you want a penny?" She asks, in English, smiling. "It's from America."

"Oh, my gosh, Heidi, it's a penny." I say, facing forward, a little embarrassed.

"Yeah, and I have a thousand of them," she says, still giving everyone a penny. As we pass, more and more people are looking to see what the commotion is about with those crazy Americans. I look back again and see a woman refuse the penny. Heidi places one in her hand anyway.

The crazy American thing is something I really should be getting used to. It's an everyday occurence, largely resulting in not being able to explain normalish things that either Heidi or I do--like drink ice water. The Chinese think that's bad for your health. When I was sick last week, the Chinese receptionist, Carrie, told me that I need to drink more hot water. I can't think of anything more disgusting to drink. Especially when it tastes like dirt.

Something else that I'm sure has confused them, is when I try to be friendly and carry on certain conversations that should have been left alone. Like when they ask me if I've eaten dinner. Up until YESTERDAY, I've taken that literally. The conversations have all gone like this:

Crazy American:  Ni Hao (hello)
Chinese Man:  Have you eaten dinner?
Crazy American gets confused look on her face:  Yes. I had a potato....with some green beans.

Pause

Crazy American, very politely:  What did you have for dinner?
Chinese Man has really confused look on his face. Then he turns away.


I believe this conversation has happened around ten times since coming to China. Here are my thoughts each time:

Have I eaten dinner? That's a weird question. What time is it? It's eight thirty at night. I know these people are protective, but you'd think that I would know what time to eat dinner. Just because I can't speak the language doesn't mean I'm 10 years old.  Maybe he hasn't eaten dinner. Oh, maybe he's asking to see if he can take the American teachers out to some new Chinese food.  Oh...nope. That's not it.

End quote.

I learned yesterday that "Have you eaten dinner?" with all it's forms actually means, "What's up" or "How was your day?" and the correct response is not to ask them what food they ate that night, but say the equivalent of "Hey, how are you" back.

Oh.

Technically, I can blame everything I do that's weird on being a crazy American. So when we break all our eggs in the shopping basket by accidentaly dumping waterbottles in on top of them, we can say that we do that kind of thing in America all the time. Or when we blow the breaker in our apartment by having too many appliances on. Or when I want to wear black pants with a brown shirt and light blue shoes--I can do all that (and more) because I. am. crazy.